I Used To Be So Shiny…
Who were you before the world told you who you should be?
Before the age of 13, I was so shiny, outgoing, vibrant, alive. I had lots of friends. I was always busy doing fun things with them, or my mom, or both. I was free, unfettered, unafraid.
I had access to all of who I was.
One day I went to school and everyone hated me. Every friend I ever had pretended like I didn't exist. I was shunned. I went to a small school in a small town so there were no options to find different friends.
I was reeling, broken, confused…alone. And then the bullying started. In a nutshell, they said horrible stuff to me wherever I went and ruined things in my locker. They threw things at me if I wasn’t paying attention.
Nowhere was safe.
I was no longer safe.
“It is no longer necessary to be small, to dull my shine. In fact, it is time to shine.”
What I learned in those moments was that it wasn't safe to be me. It wasn't safe to be seen.
I had to shrink. Get small. Completely dull my shine. Become unnoticed so that I could survive, find safety again.
The bullying continued through high school. I slunk in the shadows, like a stray cat afraid to get kicked but still desperate for food and affection, desperate for the things I needed to survive.
I became someone else. I cut off parts of myself. I shrunk. And, I survived.
As an adult, fully dedicated to my healing journey, to my own soul weaving, authenticity and wholeness, I had to do the work to reclaim those cut off parts. Weaving each of them back into my soul’s tapestry, attending to them, welcoming them, loving them anew.
It is no longer necessary to be small, to dull my shine. In fact it is time to shine.
To be big. To take up space. To be all of me.
This is the energy I am taking into my current push for more visibility. The energy of safety, wholeness, shiny-ness.
Unapologetic authenticity.
Tell me, how are you shining today? What resonates with you about this today?
With love and care,
Emy
Want to do some 1:1 work with me? Click here to schedule a Soul Ignition Call.
