Doughnuts bring me joy…
From Guilt to Joy: Transforming My Relationship with Food and Self
I had 3 doughnuts the other day!
I have so many different memories of doughnuts from my childhood. There were the cinnamon sugar doughnuts from the local farm, the bite-size powdered sugar doughnuts we ate for breakfast when my parents took me on vacation as a child, and finally the powdered sugar raspberry jelly doughnuts that my dad bought me from the supermarket on a Saturday morning.
They bring me joy…and remind me of being a kid and finding joy in so.many.things. I was unfettered and free. Each of those special doughnuts is a meaningful and vibrant memory.
Yet, for so many years of my life doughnuts also brought a lot of guilt.
My relationship with food and my body was unhealthy.
I tried to heal this relationship. I did lots of work on it in therapy but I couldn’t crack the code, couldn’t completely remove this disordered-ness from my being.
I did lots of work on it in therapy but I couldn’t crack the code.
Until…
My mom died…and I shattered into bits.
And from my shattered place I could see,
this thread woven throughout my soul’s tapestry, this disordered eating thread wasn’t ever mine to carry.
It was my mom’s, passed to me because it was unresolved in her.
And from my place being shattered into bits from her loss I could finally unweave it from the tapestry of my soul. This was one of the biggest pieces of healing I did for myself after she died during my year-long transformational journey to reweave my soul into wholeness.
So I had 3 doughnuts the other day and once again they brought me pure unfettered joy without the side of guilt. And that is remarkable and amazing and swells my heart.
What’s bringing you joy right now? Hit reply and let me know.
With love and care,
Emy
P.S. This is the type of releasing and reclaiming we do in The Soul Weaver Experience.
Want to learn more about The Soul Weaver Experience? Or book a Soul Ignition Call to get started.
P.P.S. A longer version of this story will be published in my upcoming memoir that chronicles my whole soul weaving journey.
